Before Language

Some days I can write about this.

Some days I can’t.

Today I went to the studio instead.

I notice this happens when there is more feeling than understanding.

Writing asks me to know what I think.

Painting lets me stay while I don’t know.

I spend a lot of time helping my dad orient to his world — reminding, explaining, steadying.

I didn’t realize how much of that I was carrying in my own body until I painted today.

The studio is the only place I am not trying to make reality hold still.

I don’t go there to make art.

I go there so my mind can stop solving.