I Don't Want to Disappear Anymore

I don't want to disapear anymore

On a couch in the thunderstorm

alone, bewildered, confused

the deer frozen

dust in the tail lights.

Helpless.

Be. Good. so they don't leave.

Don't speak. so they stay kind.

In the back studio.

when the dragon broke through the veneer

and rage wanted me like a dog devouring his toy.

Freedom slipped into the night like a ghost without a candle.

me-there- holding the echoes of who I once was.

I hide in the underbrush of logic and reason.

Its a hollow cave, no substance, no form, a dull pain in the sound of nothing

A symphony

sitting by a stream.

I thought I was afraid of being selfish.

I am actually afraid of being unrecognizable to myself.

And today, I don't want to disappear anymore.

This is Solphira.